i call you in the middle of the night to tell you that i’m crazy
to ramble on for endless minutes about the absolute madness
coursing through my brain like a thousand raging rivers
I call to tell you that i want to die, that i want to live, that i’ve
thought myself into a place where i cant decide between the two
anymore; that i am thinking about her again…that the quietness
in my soul is deafening, that i need some kind of fucking distraction
I call when i’ve exhausted the empty spaces in my mind and i
no longer know what that pretty girl really meant earlier with that text that said “yes let’s hang out soon”
when i’m trapped between hope and fear and all i want to do is fucking run
I call you when i need so desperately to know tomorrows answers today
and the pain of trying to wait that out has become a crippling storm that
threatens to snuff out the tiny bit of light that has survived my darkness
I call you because i need to tell someone the truth, that i am a pretender
that i am supposed to be a mentor to people and that i have absolutely
no idea what i am doing, can do, will do…that I am blind as well…
all of these things i tell you in the sometimes frightening solitude of the night
because somewhere along the line i took to calling you my priest
because i can place my truth in your hands and walk away a free man
if only for a few seconds, minutes, hours…long enough to find hope again.
sacerdote ho peccato e ho bisogno del vostro stasera fede
Tag: fear
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Sacerdote; to my dear friend ginny
No Rhymes or Reasons: where freeform poetry meets literary snobbery 